The Best Thing to Say When You Feel Totally Unprepared in a Meeting

The Best Thing to Say When You Feel Totally Unprepared in a Meeting Picture this Yure in an important meeting with senior leadership. The CEO is sharing the firms strategic plan, including how the company will leverage big data to gain visibility into market opportunities producing measurable ROI.Umwhat?You do a quick scan around the conference room. Heads nod in agreement as the CEO concludes.Self-doubtkicks in. Am I the only one who hasno ideawhat she just said? Even though youre totally confused, you dont ask questions for fear of losing face.Later while grabbing coffee, a colleague divulges that they were lost amidst the jargon. Yet they didnt speak up. Though you shared the same opinion, you both stayed quiet.Is this simply ironyor is something more at play?This phenomenon is calledpluralistic ignorance. It describes a situation in which a majority of people in a group privately disagree with an idea, while incorrectly assuming others in the group accept it. Instead of standing up for our beliefs, we go along with what the group seems to favor.Pluralistic ignorance is surprisingly common in the workplacefrom the boardroom to how we evaluate our personal success. It even affects attitudes towardsflex-work policiesandthe gender wage gap.Typically, youre not the only one who feels confused or who wishes they could speak up.Its time to do away with the myth that asking questions makes you look dumb.While there may be no such thing as a stupid question (as the old saying goes), there is such a thing as agreatquestion.If youve been holding back and not speaking up on account of the pluralistic ignorance effect, itll pay to invest time in becoming a master atSocratic questioning.Try this smart, strategic way of expressing yourself at the right time, assertively and with tact.This includesclarifying questions,such asWhat do you mean by?Could you put that another way?If I heard you correctly, what youre saying is?Andprobing questions,such asWhat would be an example of?How did you decide?Could you expand upon that point further?Theres definitely adeep-seated fear of speaking upin a group, so dont beat yourself up for feeling tentative about it. Its normal to be worried youll embarrass yourself, feel rejected or lose peoples respect. But its a good exercise in self-assuredness to get used to believing in yourself enough toknow that speaking up wont make you look stupid or foolish. In fact, youll look proactive and engaged in the conversation.On the other hand, if you are the one presenting and you feel caught off guard by someones question, you can use phrases likeLetme get back toyou about that.Great question. Whats your sense of the situation?Thanks for the feedback. Give me some time todigestwhat Ive heard.If it makes it easier to tiptoe into this new territory, start out by testing yournew skills in small groups or one-on-one situations before transitioning to speaking up in high-stakes situations like client meetings.--Melody Wildingis a c oach and licensed social worker who helpsambitioushigh-achievers manage the emotional aspects of having asuccessfulcareer. Her clients include CEOs and C-level executives at top Fortune 500 companies such as Google and HP, as well as media personalities, startup founders, and entrepreneurs across industries. She also teaches Human Behavior at Hunter College in NYC. Get free tools to grow your career confidence atmelodywilding.com.A version of this article originally appeared on Forbes.