Three Life-Affirming Steps To Take When Youre Traumatized By Events Around You - Kathy Caprino

Three Life-Affirming Steps To Take When You’re Traumatized By Events Around You Yesterday, I and several inspiring colleagues of mine who are in the helping, healing and business arenas held an open, online Healing Together call, with the sole intent of offering a much-needed chance for anyone who may be struggling with the events of this week and this year to come together, share authentically and openly, and find a place of respect, care and empathy to express themselves without fear, and process their feelings, and begin to heal. The amazing women who joined me â€" Cheryl Hunter, Neha Sangwan, Angie Ruan and Mo Faul â€" all work to empower and uplift women and to support humanity in important ways. And each of us has been challenged in our own, unique way by recent events and experiences. In listening to these sage and empowered women talk about how they cope with deep challenge and trauma, and in formulating my own ideas about how we can best marshal all our internal resources and our strength, hope, faith and courage in challenges times and hearing the beautiful, riveting comments from attendees I learned so much about what severs and destroys love, connection, strength and positivity,  and also, what restores it. Below are three strategies Id like to share and  I hope are helpful, about how we can reconnect to our spiritual and emotional centers again, and engage all our capabilities, courage, faith and love to heal and empower ourselves through difficult times. Reconnect to yourself through your physical being and your breath So often, in challenging times, we become deeply fearful, and our feelings of extreme vulnerability, confusion and disconnection wreak havoc on our bodies, minds and spirits. It’s so important in these times especially, to, every day, get in deeper touch with yourself â€" physically, emotionally and spirituallyâ€"to ground yourself and reconnect to your heart, soul and to our inner guidance, capabilities, strengths and love.  In this way, youre continually reminded of how powerful you really are, and your personal accountability and sense of self can grow.. Dr. Neha Sangwan shares exactly how we can do this, in my podcast with Mo Faul,  Best Work/Best Life.  Listen in  here for a powerful interview with Neha that helps us all reconnect to what we’re feeling and experiencing, so we can begin to heal. Move away from the blame and hate place Throughout my 15 years of personal transformation and reinvention since leaving corporate life after 9/11, I’ve learned a great deal about how I personally operate â€" including the knee-jerk reactions I have to life and to challenge. I’ve observed in my own reactions that when I’m deeply upset, angry and anxious, I go immediately to the blame place. I look for someone to yell at and blame so I can feel better and not deal with the messy, painful process of identifying exactly what is making me so upset and afraid, and working through it, and being accountable for it. I try to shortcut the pain by making someone else the problem. Sadly, this is a futile exercise, and in fact, a self-damaging and corrosive one.  Discharging our anxiety is not dealing with it, not taking accountability for it and addressing it in a strong, empowered way.   And deal with it we must, if we want to move to the process of healing and growth, and become the person we long to be. Also, taking responsibility for our part of it â€" understanding the meaning we’re attaching to events and things and seeing exactly what that meaning and story is catalyzing in our own minds â€" is essential if we ever want to achieve any sense of balance, peace and self-control. As renowned social researcher and vulnerability expert Brené Brown has said, “Blame has an inverse relationship with accountability.” In other words, people who chronically go to the blame place seldom have the tenacity and grit to actually hold themselves accountable for what theyre feeling and doing. Cheryl Hunter, a resilience expert and national news commentator shares so much wisdom and guidance about how to become resilient after trauma. After being brutally attacked by three criminals while traveling in a foreign country in her teens, and learning how to survive and thrive after this unbearable experience, Cheryl has so much wisdom and beautiful guidance to offer us. Angie Ruan, technology leader and empowerment of women in the tech field, shares her amazing personal story of coming from China to the U.S., and how rising up in the tech world has taught her so much about whats required to ovecome gender bias and discrimination, and lead powerfully. Listen to her amazing story here. Finally, Mo Faul shares about her journey with cancer, and how her dark times with disease have changed who she is. Brave up: Become more of who you really are   Numbers of people on the call yesterday shared how scared they were about they own situations, and that of their loved ones, children and family members. They revealed their deep anxieties and fears about where our world is going in terms of how dominant culture and society treats members of minority and marginalized groups and cultures. We talked about what it feels like â€" for women, blacks, and members of the LGBTQ community, for example â€" to feel demeaned, disrespected, ignored, put down, or worse â€" overtly and criminally punished and discriminated against. As a woman and a professional who has lived through numerous experiences of sexual harassment and gender discrimination in my 56 years, I know what this feels like. And I know how damaging, infuriating and overwhelming it is to be pushed aside by a fellow human being, and kicked to the curb like garbage. It’s crushing and it strips us of our faith in good and in humanity. And it makes us feel helpless. But I’d offer this: we can stay in this place of disenfranchisement, alienation and victimization, or we can do something powerful about it. In my TEDx talk “Time to Brave Up” this month for TEDxCentennialParkWomen (link coming soon!), I shared about what I’ve found to be three essential ways we all need to Brave Up:  See Bravely, Speak Bravely and Shine Bravely. Each and every one of us needs to muster more power, courage and internal commitment and resolve to rise up, speak up and stand up BOLDLY for ourselves and for others. And in doing so, we will all transform our lives, and the world. I dont just think this I know it, because Ive personally moved away from victimhood and so have thousands of women Ive worked with. And their lives have been transformed. What can you do today? Don’t take abuse or discrimination lying down. Speak up and take a stand.  Get empowered outside support, join together, address the issues with accountability, strength and clarity. Let’s all become more accountable and stop blaming others for what’s happening around us that we cannot tolerate. I’ve found that it is exactly in this rising up, standing up and speaking up for ourselves, in small ways at first, then in much bigger ways, that people have created new life experiences, away from victimization to experiencing more and more empowerment, confidence, impact, growth and accountability and that changes the world. To build a more empowered life and career, work with me, take my Amazing Career Project video training, and read by book Breakdown, Breakthrough. And if youre longing for a powerful meditative guide to overcoming challenge, check out my Breakdown, Breakthrough 2-part Meditative companion.  

Prepare your references for job search success -

Prepare your references for job search success - What should job seekers do now to prepare for interviews? Lets face it, sometimes a long-time job search winds up in an interview scheduled with little lead time.   I believe that the issue of references is one that job seekers overlook. It is important to plan ahead for this part of the search, way before you are actually providing references. Some things to consider Do you know what your references are saying about you? Especially if you have often reached the final stages without landing the job, touching base with those who may hold the keys to your next position is a great idea! Whom to Ask? Ideally, you should have a current or immediate past employer as a reference.  Co-workers and trusted subordinates may also be references, but most hiring managers will want to hear from employers.  If you are a student or recently graduated, faculty members may serve as references.  If you have had a leadership role in a volunteer organization, “supervisors” from that organization may be good references for you. Ask permission.  Once you have in mind who you’d like to serve, ask their permission.  If they seem hesitant or hedge at all, allow them to bow out gracefully.  You don’t want to browbeat your references into helping you.  (They may hurt more than help.)  The best references are those who are enthusiastically supportive. Prepare your references to support you! Be sure they have the most updated version of your resume and a cover letter for the position if you have one.  Let them know if you expect they will be called, and offer suggestions of topics they may want to emphasize. When I was applying for one of my jobs, I knew that teamwork and the willingness to pitch in when necessary were crucial for my potential employer.  I emphasized how I was the perfect match (I really was!)  in the interview.  I also asked my current supervisor (who knew about my search and was my #1 reference) if she could mention some examples of my teamwork when she spoke to my potential boss, who offered me the job as soon as he spoke to her! Hopefully, you will have a strong relationship with your references and will be comfortable making them partners in your search. Let’s face it you can get right to the job’s door by having a great resume and interviewing well.  The key to get in is in the hands of those who are willing to recommend you for the job!

Tips For Writing a Resume For a V.P Position

Tips For Writing a Resume For a V.P PositionWriting a resume for a V.P. job is a more than difficult task. Even if you have taken the time to review the information on this page, it may not get you very far in this process. I will go over some of the key points that you need to consider when thinking about the type of resume you are going to create.The first thing you should do is start on your computer and open your Word or PowerPoint Document. Start by taking out all of the information from your resume that is not required. Do not take out any cover letter, or cover letter templates. These are all things that you are going to want to leave behind when creating a resume for a V.P. position.When you have everything that is not needed, it is time to begin organizing all of the information that you have in your resume. Start by taking out any items that can be included in the beginning, or at the end of the letter. You don't want to include anything that you will not need.In the beginn ing of your resume, include all of the areas that will be covered during the interview. For example, if you have a background in selling a property, take a moment to tell this story in your resume. This will help make your resume stand out and give you a good chance of being interviewed.The next paragraph should be the continuation of your resume. This is going to include the area that needs to be covered during the interview. Leave a good summary for this section of your resume as well.When you are finished with your resume, take out all of the sections that are not related to the position that you are applying for. Keep it short and only include information that is necessary.Remember, when creating a resume for a V.P. position, you do not want to include anything that you will not need.

The Benefits of Writing a Resume as an Achiever

The Benefits of Writing a Resume as an Achiever The earlier you invest in having your resume professionally written, the quicker you improve your probability of landing a job which you desire. Once you have spotted a job circular, the very first point to apply to get a job is to get a good resume and a great cover letter. If you're not happy together with your present job and thus are thinking about quitting, it can be a prudent choice to have an updated job application to send out just before you stop. If applying to small companies it might not be sensible to indicate that you would like the work of the individual who's recruiting you! Type of Writing a Resume as an Achiever Specifically, job application writing is one of the most researched topics on the internet. If you're unsure how to begin listing achievements for a resume, do just a little brainstorming. The very first place to discover keywords to utilize in your resume is the work ad. Although it is frequently har d that people compose their own resumes, there are a few basic tactics to create your resume immediately jump off the page and stick out among a sea of competitors. It's a good idea to list every one of the tasks and knowledge in bullet point format so that it makes it simpler for the employer to see just what you could do. A great resume format is simple to scan. You're able to look at generic resumes, but engineering resume samples will be the absolute most useful due to their specificity to your area. Consider your requirements and see the explanations below to opt for the best resume format for you. The Writing a Resume as an Achiever Cover Up Simply speaking, a resume-worthy achievement is one which can be quantified. Learn about the three sorts of skills you're able to highlight and the way you are able to incorporate them into your resume. Believe that additionally, you may be an achiever. Understanding Writing a Resume as an Achiever You know that in the event th at you finish a task by a specific time, you could capture an opportunity. Just take the time now to construct your understanding of and confidence in how to talk money so you'll be a winner in the future. It isn't necessary to to run to enrol in a program. Therefore, if you were a component of a bigger team on a thriving project, include it in your resume! Characteristics of Writing a Resume as an Achiever To numerous applicants lump each of their tasks in a brief paragraph, which won't impress many possible employers. The info in your resume should paint an image of the kind of employee you are and show employers what you're capable of accomplishing. To perform a mass mailing, you want an up-to-date mailing list of prospective employers. To fully grasp why you weren't selected, it's a great practice to call the recruiter and request a feedback.

How to Handle Awkward Situations at Work

How to Handle Awkward Situations at WorkIts always nice to get as friendly as you can with the people youll spend so much of your waking adult life working alongside. But building personal relationships at work can create a few sticky situations. Here are a few of them, and what to do when you find yourself in trouble. googletag.cmd.push(function() googletag.display(div-gpt-ad-1467144145037-0) ) 1.When You Get Promoted and Your Coworker DoesntYou get one, your friend in the same position doesnt. Now theres resentment and a new power dynamic to negotiate. You cant share your work drama with the same abandon anymore, because youre in different roles. The kind of belly-aching youre accustomed to is no longer appropriate. Also be prepared to withstand some initial resentment.Either way, its best to talk about it once out in the open. Be proactive. Address the aspects of your relationship that have to change according to your work functions, but emphasize what aspects of your friendship do not have to change. Check in, be humble, and be honest. Itll help you both navigate the new situation if youre still on the same page and can express some solidarity.2. WhenYou Become Friends With Your BossYou and your boss have become close outside of work. You get in a fight. It makes things awkward at the bro. This is normal. All friends fight. The only tricky bit is not compromising either of your jobs. Keep things civil and professional, and try not to be too defensive. If its a minor thing, take a bit of distance, cool off, then send an olive branch schmelzglas to smooth it over. If its major, make it clear that it will not impact your daily office routines, but make a plan to chat outside the office after work.3. When You want Skip Out on a Social EventYour coworker wants you to double date Fun, right? But you dont want to. Thats totally fine. Youre under no obligation to do so. Trouble is, turning it down can be a little tricky. Youll want to be as firm as possible, witho ut being mean. When in doubt, try to downshift. Say youre super busy and would prefer to have some one-on-one time, maybe coffee or lunch Eventually, shell get the hint.4. When YoureFighting With Your CoworkerThis is the same as fighting with your boss, just that the stakes are slightly lower. Though you also have the potential to damage the others reputation in the office. Be careful not let the fight spill over into the work day and make either of you act unprofessionally. Otherwise, the same rules apply.5.WhenYou Dont Want to Make Friends With EveryoneYoure close with a couple of your coworkers, but not another. Youre under no obligation to let this other coworker into your clique. People have the right to chose their friends and you are not required to be friends with people just because you work together. But do be sensitive to the feelings of the person you are not including. Avoid talking about all the fun stuff you and your pals are going to do in front of this other coworke r. Its the kind way to behave.6.When You Dont Fit in at WorkIf youre the one on the outside of the cool kids clique at work, dont worry. It doesnt say anything about you necessarily. And you certainly shouldnt take it personally. Be warm and civil with your coworkers, and then divert your friendship-forging attention elsewhere. Make sure you maintain an active and fulfilling social life outside of the office so you dont get discouraged by not being part of the crowd. The upside here is that youll focus more on your work and not be as easily distracted by office banter.7. When You Overhear Hurtful GossipYou overhear your coworkers talking about you behind your back. Resist the temptation to throttle them. You dont have to confront them, but you shouldnt hide and pretend you didnt hear either. Take time to cool off and give them the space to do the adult thing and apologize. If they dont, theyre probably not worth talking to.8. When Your Coworkers are Mooching Off of YouAre you always paying for the coffee trip? The happy hour round? Rather than quietly resenting this state of affairs, give your coworkers the benefit of the doubt and the opportunity to set things right. Try saying, Hey, you mind grabbing this round? I got the last few. Or something equally casual. Its awkward the first couple of times, but youll be glad you got better at asking. Its better than slowly going broke

The Best Thing to Say When You Feel Totally Unprepared in a Meeting

The Best Thing to Say When You Feel Totally Unprepared in a Meeting Picture this Yure in an important meeting with senior leadership. The CEO is sharing the firms strategic plan, including how the company will leverage big data to gain visibility into market opportunities producing measurable ROI.Umwhat?You do a quick scan around the conference room. Heads nod in agreement as the CEO concludes.Self-doubtkicks in. Am I the only one who hasno ideawhat she just said? Even though youre totally confused, you dont ask questions for fear of losing face.Later while grabbing coffee, a colleague divulges that they were lost amidst the jargon. Yet they didnt speak up. Though you shared the same opinion, you both stayed quiet.Is this simply ironyor is something more at play?This phenomenon is calledpluralistic ignorance. It describes a situation in which a majority of people in a group privately disagree with an idea, while incorrectly assuming others in the group accept it. Instead of standing up for our beliefs, we go along with what the group seems to favor.Pluralistic ignorance is surprisingly common in the workplacefrom the boardroom to how we evaluate our personal success. It even affects attitudes towardsflex-work policiesandthe gender wage gap.Typically, youre not the only one who feels confused or who wishes they could speak up.Its time to do away with the myth that asking questions makes you look dumb.While there may be no such thing as a stupid question (as the old saying goes), there is such a thing as agreatquestion.If youve been holding back and not speaking up on account of the pluralistic ignorance effect, itll pay to invest time in becoming a master atSocratic questioning.Try this smart, strategic way of expressing yourself at the right time, assertively and with tact.This includesclarifying questions,such asWhat do you mean by?Could you put that another way?If I heard you correctly, what youre saying is?Andprobing questions,such asWhat would be an example of?How did you decide?Could you expand upon that point further?Theres definitely adeep-seated fear of speaking upin a group, so dont beat yourself up for feeling tentative about it. Its normal to be worried youll embarrass yourself, feel rejected or lose peoples respect. But its a good exercise in self-assuredness to get used to believing in yourself enough toknow that speaking up wont make you look stupid or foolish. In fact, youll look proactive and engaged in the conversation.On the other hand, if you are the one presenting and you feel caught off guard by someones question, you can use phrases likeLetme get back toyou about that.Great question. Whats your sense of the situation?Thanks for the feedback. Give me some time todigestwhat Ive heard.If it makes it easier to tiptoe into this new territory, start out by testing yournew skills in small groups or one-on-one situations before transitioning to speaking up in high-stakes situations like client meetings.--Melody Wildingis a c oach and licensed social worker who helpsambitioushigh-achievers manage the emotional aspects of having asuccessfulcareer. Her clients include CEOs and C-level executives at top Fortune 500 companies such as Google and HP, as well as media personalities, startup founders, and entrepreneurs across industries. She also teaches Human Behavior at Hunter College in NYC. Get free tools to grow your career confidence atmelodywilding.com.A version of this article originally appeared on Forbes.

The Number One Method You Need to Be Using for Writing Resume for Promotion

The Number One Method You Need to Be Using for Writing Resume for Promotion Do bedrngnis assume youre a shoe in for the job because you previously get the job done for the organization. If youre on the promotion track, you will most likely be asked to submit a resume to your employer even when you have been with the company for many decades. Never burn bridges if you plan to remain with the business. For instance, if youve been with the business long enough, you have in all likelihood mentored new employees. Your own personal development program should consist of goals which are both feasible and measurable. While its said that difficult vocabulary shouldnt be used, it is suggested that jargon linked to your particular area or industry ought to be utilized as keywords. When youre working on acquiring a promotion, it can take some effort to become noticed by management. When you submit an application for an internal promotion, its far better pay attention to your contributi ons to the organization. If youre short on experience and searching for an entry-level position, you might want to highlight things like grades, awards, and so forth. Just remember to take care of everyone respectfully even if its the case that you dont get the job. Simply take the opportunity to be certain youre in an ideal place to create the best impression on the job and to find that promotion youre seeking. You might be thinking, Yeah, I already knew that, but what you might not know is that a resume written to make an application for an internal position is a little different from the resume you would write if you were searching for a work elsewhere. New Ideas Into Writing Resume for Promotion Never Before Revealed If youre asking for a management role, you have to showcase your management abilities. If youve got many abilities, the previous skill paragraph may be called Additional Skills. Learn about the three kinds of skills you are able to highlight and the way it is possible to incorporate them into your resume. Below youll observe the best skills required to fulfill an administrative site. All About Writing Resume for Promotion Realize that though you previously do the job for the company, managers in various departments might not be acquainted with your work. If you dont supply the info necessary for the hiring agency to ascertain your qualifications, you may not be considered for the job. Hiring managers may pass you over in the event that you do not own a strong resume as you look for a job. They are more concerned with your current responsibilities rather than what you were doing three years ago. Top Choices of Writing Resume for Promotion At the same time, reading some leadership books will also aid you with the sort of language you wish to use on your resume to describe yourself. In truth, its better to leave your reader with a couple questions theyd love to ask you. In addition, there are many methods to communicate 1 idea util izing different action verbs, which enables you to bring some spice to your resume. Do not assume that, because youre asking for an internal promotion, the individual reading your resume will be conversant with your work. The One Thing to Do for Writing Resume for Promotion When you contact the business you originally left, list it again with the info about that position. Your experience should deal with every necessary qualification in the job announcement. Then stack each work title and the dates you held the job below the name of the organization. You may often receive a great starter list right from the work advertisement. Your professional profile is a brief paragraph that tells the employer about your abilities and the way they directly relate to the job that you seek. Concentrate on these sections to understand whether you meet the requirements for the position. Utilizing action verbs in resume writing is as simple as any other schriftart of writing, so long as you know what things to include and what things to look for. At times the Skills and Accomplishments section is a distinct section. Guidelines and minimum requirements for promotion will be different from state to state, so you are going to want to understand what promotion resembles in your individual area. You must organize your resume to aid agencies evaluate your experience. Make certain you get the info youre looking for.